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Two Roads
"Two roads diverged in a wood, and I--I took the one
Always Something
Martyr, complex
Futility I.
less traveled by"
Robert Frost, "The Road Not Taken"
Two roads before me lie, one left, one right,
And I stand here night after night
Wondering which I shall take,
But more so, whether the choice I make
Will make any difference at all.
Both roads are covered with autumn's fall,
And equally worn, or close enough,
Not that I care if they're smooth or rough,
But which will take me to happier days?
I'm searching for a tranquil place.
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I --
I took the one less traveled by,
But I don't think it made any difference.
(apologies to Robert Frost)
-Dana A.
The first time you offered to step over that brink
With the girl about to die
She stopped; and the second; and the third;
Suicide by proxy. She did not want
To take you with her; she wanted you
To live for her instead.
The mistake was to believe
The magic would work for anyone else
Only someone who loved you more
Than she hated her own life
Would succumb to your martyrdom.
Parcel it out
And soon enough, someone took you with her
And let you spiral downward
And misery just loved
- Loved -
Loved your company.
There are more ways than one
To skin a cat.
One might start at the whisker,
Or lay the tailbone bare.
Perhaps removing the tongue
Revenge for all the times
One could not speak.
And if the cat still lives
Curiosity is a powerful poison.
Does the skinnable cat
Offer options of Siamese fur,
or perhaps Persian longhair?
Can one even make it appear
To be a Pekingese or Shih-Tzu?
There are too many ways
To skin a cat. Let's not.
(by Dana A.)
I could be walking down the street
And your picture would blow by in the wind
I might be sitting in the park
And a leaf would fall just as your eyes would fall
When you looked away from me because
There was too much in your eyes to see
I might be talking to a stranger
And he'd mention your name in passing
I should be trying to forget you
But there is always something there to remind me
Maybe the song of that title
Or someone who has your way of smiling a secret
Like the Mona Lisa with blonde hair
I could be visiting a grave and see your name
Tears might fall then, or maybe that is dew on the grass
Or I'd wake from a dream with your taste on my lips
A stray thought blows past on the winds of memory
And there you are in my mind winking to me
Whispering that you love me and always will
I know what that means to you now
I wander across the fields we used to walk together
And a liar mentions having seen you yesterday
Or a dreamer asks if your name is taken
Then a warrior tells me he was remembering you and me
And a dark man whispers how he is glad you're gone
A bright woman keeps you carefully out of her words
Even in your absence you're an overwhelming presence
So there is always something there to remind me
Even when there isn't anything there.
I can forgive you when you take my name in vain
I can forgive a lapse of memory
I can forgive you if you get angry for no reason
I can't forgive you if you take it out on me
I can give you my peace of mind
I can let go of my anger and pain
I can take it one more time
But not if it happens again and again
Mostly you don't let it go that far
Mostly my emotions don't carry me away
Mostly I stay very stable and sane
But sometimes - like today -
I feel I'm letting you down
If I lose my temper at your sloth or pride
I have no way to deal with unforgiveness
It eats at me from the inside
To love you is to forgive you
Failure at either tears me apart
I'm just such a perfectionist
Forgiveness is easy. Anger is hard.
She must have been a dream
You wake up with her taste on your lips
Every morning at the pink of dawn
Her savor lingering from the night
Dreams scatter at the touch of day
You race to where she may be found
As many days as you can use your strength
To pull away from her embrace in dreams
And strive to find her daytime lair
She gives you hope, she gives you life
She brings you everything you need but her
Far away across the gleaming seas
She hides the last treasure greatest of all
When you reach out to touch her face
It shatters like a reflection in water
And though you know nothing is real if she is not
You have nothing but your faith
And one day she vanishes forever
Your well of trust slowly seeps through tiny cracks
The taste of her turns bitter on your lips
Long after she is gone the dreams remain
Your contradictory hopes war within you
That you will forget her, that she will return,
that you will be able to hate her
That you will find someone who eclipses her
Finally the war ends in a battered truce
She settles into your gut a burning pain
Behind your eyes the tears you cannot shed
The wound that will never heal
She must have been a dream, all along
No reality is as strong as she must have been
For every truth there is a lie
For every dream, a dreamer destroyed.
The sun sets despite me.
The moon rises even though I don't want it to rise.
The tides are still coming in and going out, no matter how hard I try to
stop them.
The whole world is against me.
The birds keep singing despite the many court orders I've obtained.
The grass keeps growing even though I have withheld water all summer.
The clouds won't hold still even when I shout at them as loud as I can.
Why doesn't anyone ever listen to me?
Even if I hold my breath, the air won't go away.
Even if I close my eyes tightly, the room is still here.
Even if I put my fingers in my ears, the thunder follows the lightning.
I just can't win.
I never buy it but my grocery store still stocks milk.
I never brush my teeth but the dentist down the road is still in
business.
I never watch it but there are more channels on television every month.
It's as if I don't even exist.
Still I try. Still I live. I should kill myself, it is hopeless.
But I live for the endless failure,
If I were to succeed, what would I do with myself?
Apologia, part N.
I am sorry I stole that map, the time when you and I went shopping, and
I thought it cost too much.
I am sorry I lied about the taxes.
I am sorry for the times I pretended I cared.
I am sorry I keep putting you off, but...
I am sorry I said "but"
I am sorry you keep getting sick.
I am sorry it hurts so much.
I am sorry we can't seem to find any time to figure out why we can't
talk
I am sorry because that is my fault, I don't want to
I am sorry that I don't want to
I am sorry for you
I am sorry for myself.
I apologize for losing my way
I apologize for losing my religion
I apologize for things I didn't even do
I apologize too often
I apologize for apologizing.
I regret that I didn't know who I was when I met you
I regret that you still don't know who you are
I regret that neither of us seems to have learned anything in ten years
I regret nothing - nothing.
I'd do it all again.
I just want you to listen to me
I am sorry I asked you to listen to me
I apologize for wanting anything from you
I don't regret it though.
I am sorry for being so argumentative
I don't like apologizing for being who I am
I won't apologize for my existence
I have no regrets
No
Regrets.