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Her father's funeral was tomorrow... in the dream... she went to the airport to buy tickets. She noticed that her stomach was bulging... she was pregnant... very far along. And crying because she was sad, her father had died, and full of hormonal urges. She wished she could have asked him to come with her, but he had to stay home with his wife, who was ill... him? who? the father of her child of course... she... Nick? of course it was... and he was married... how would she explain that to her mother? She hadn't told her mother she was pregnant. To get that shock on top of the loss of her husband of 30 years and true love.. Mason fretted about her mother, more tears falling, this time the feelings not so pure as grief, more a guilty feeling of wishing she weren't in the situation she was in...
Mason sat on the plane as it landed, hands folded over the soft cloth covering her distended belly, aching for her father, worrying about what she would tell her mother. Was there any way she could pass it off as weight gain from a more sedentary lifestyle? She shook her head, sniffing and wiping tears from stinging eyes.
Mason hugged her mother gingerly as she reached her, having carried her overnight bag from the cab up the steps to the porch. Her mother looked into her eyes with affection, smiled wanly, and drew Mason from the chilly Vermont evening into the warm kitchen. She sat down with her daughter, handing her a steaming mug of chamomile tea with honey, and said, "You must have a lot you want to talk about, sweetheart."
Mason nodded, tears flowing again, and her mother gave her a handkerchief. Her flimsy lie flew from her head unspoken, and the truth spilled out... I'm going to have a baby... her mother nodded and scooted closer, wrapping an arm around Mason's shoulder. And the father? her mother asked. Will you be able to get married? Mason shook her head. Will he be able to be involved in the baby's upbringing? Oh yes... that's... he definitely will... Her mother smiled, Mason was reminded of Lucille for a moment... and... felt an outpouring of love that she wasn't sure whether it was for her mother or her employer... both, probably... and her mother said softly... "The circle of life... we are all one, Mason..." and became something more than mother and more than Lucille yet partaking of both... lifegiver... creator and bright light of existence....
...and Mason was blinded... and darkness fell...
...and her eyes flew open to see the glow of her alarm clock in the night.
And the dream kept coming back to mind again, and again... and finally.... Mason stopped by the lab... and ran a test...and ran another test... and all the results were positive. This was impossible... or was it? Hadn't there been that one time... almost two months ago.... uhhhhh.... yes. Mason raised her hand to her mouth, then realized it was contaminated and went to the sink, washing it instead. And from her experiments with the mice... it would be as though the ... yes, say it, Mason... child were just conceived ... until she ceased. drinking. vitae. Her mind stopped cold. She dropped to the floor, shivering, wondering in the little part of her mind that could still think despite the overwhelming panic, if this is what the vampires felt in their fear of fire...
Maybe an hour later, she finally pulled herself out of near comatose shivering, and stood. Mason wrapped herself in a coat, and went home, to think very hard, on how she would tell... Nick... and Lucille... this news..........
"Hello, Miss Semingsworth," Mason said. She felt suddenly completely calm, as the moment descended.
"You asked to see me, Ms. Weston? I hope everything is well?" Lucille looked at Mason from her computer monitor, showing financial intricacies that Mason only was beginning to comprehend, as Lucille revealed her financial workings bit by bit and shared some of her incredible expertise.
"Yes... it isn't that anything is wrong... exactly... but something has, well, happened that I am... surprised by and it will be a challenge to handle it well but I can do it... " Mason attempted to prepare Lucille for any shock at the announcement.
"What has happened? Yes, I have confidence, if you believe you can handle it, I imagine you can."
"I ... um... I've conceived a child... " Mason paused, watching Lucille. The Ventrue nodded, and Mason went on, "and... as I told you from my studies with animals... to let it grow I'd have to.... to stop drinking the vitae of Kindred... altogether... until it is born." She stopped, and looked down.
Lucille seemed to take this with equanimity; at least, nothing of her reaction showed on her face. She thought it over, seeming to come to a conclusion. "If that is the path you wish to pursue, I will allow it." She considered several questions, finally choosing to ask first, "Who is the father? Will you marry him?"
Mason had expected to be asked who, it was the obvious question, but she couldn't keep from flushing red as she answered. "No... I mean I can't... it's Nicholas .... and, uhhh... he did use, well, prophylactics, you know, but the first time..... was... I mean, this is my responsibility, he was as responsible as he could be. I... am going to tell him the news as soon as I know your... well, now that I have your permission, that is."
She looked at Lucille, her flush fading a little, as Lucille nodded in response. "I understand, Ms Weston, and I don't need such details. You will be able to ensure that after this such events do not recurr, I feel certain." Lucille was not sure Mason would make it through this, but she was sure that if she did, she wouldn't want to do it again, so this was more of a statement of fact than an order. "And... congratulations."
Mason smiled wanly at Lucille. "Thank you, Miss Semingsworth."
"You are welcome. Now... the usual reports? Are there any new research results? How is your progress on making the shelters self-supporting so that we can expand?" They continued with their discussions, Mason feeling further relaxed. Earlier this evening she had told Lyness that the experiment was over, and that she would not be meeting her nightly any longer, though she had agreed to visit on occasion, as they had become something of friends. So... starting the 25th... in about 30 days, she would begin feeling the withdrawal pangs.. and the baby would begin growing... and then... about 40 weeks until it was born, due date should be mid-November... she calculated when she should tell the obstetrician her 'last period' was. The real last one had been before Thanksgiving... she should have noticed that. Maybe she had, subconsciously, and that was why she had the dream....
Lucille for her part, had made a mental note to determine what Mason might need during her pregnancy, to research online how such things were handled nowadays, she had the idea that it was quite different than it had been during her lifetime. Anything that could be provided, would be.
It wasn't until the next morning that Mason told the father to be. The two of them were taking four of the dogs out for a walk, Isis, Caspian, Oso and Orin. Mason fastened Orin and Caspian to a double leash, taking a bit more time than Nicholas did to do the same with Isis and Oso. The dogs were very well trained, but eager to go out, and they were big dogs. Still, for a couple of ghouls with the enhanced strength lent by their addiction to vampiric blood, this posed no problem.
They took the dogs to the stairwell, letting them off the leashes again to run down ahead. Mason watched the dogs bound eagerly yet composedly down the stairs. She glanced at Nick, smiling at him, trying to work her way round in her mind to telling him the news.
He was watching her, a worried frown on his face - he could sense there was something not quite right, and was fidgeting anxiously, brushing his hair out of his face every few minutes. In his head Nick was going over possible inconsistencies... myself, perhaps. Constance? A possibility... a new element in the ongoing investigation into Maeve's sire? Another possibility. He would content himself with watching Mason closely as they walked, but not in a challenging fashion... just passive concern.
Mason took his hand and squeezed it as if to reassure... herself or him... both, probably. He jumped a bit at the pressure of her hand, having been drawn so deeply into his own thoughts he'd lost himself. He smiled at her warmly, his face animating again as he brushed his bangs out of his eyes.
"Hey Nick... I love you..." She gave him a little smile and then rushed down the stairs. He stood unmoving for a few moments, closing his mouth around the words of affection he had been about to speak, watching her rush down the stairs in confusion as he tried to process why she was running from him. When she reached the bottom where the dogs were waiting, Mason turned and looked up at Nick as he came down toward her. Stuffing his hands in his pocket, swallowing the lump in his throat, he watched the stairs as he continued his descent, whistling softly - calling one of the dogs to his side to alleviate his confusion and rising panic.
"Nick? you can tell ... that something's wrong... I mean not wrong... but that... something's worrying me?" Mason petted the dogs by her side as she spoke.
Once Nicholas reached the bottom of the staircase, he stooped down to whisper into Isis' ear while she cocked her head attentively, listening. Isis licked Nick's face as he turned to look up at Mason. "Yes, Mason. It surrounds you - worries me. Are you unhappy with me? With Constance? With ... " he trailed off, realizing the list of possible causes was too cumbersome to enumerate. He met her eyes, a deep sadness coloring his features.
"No, I'm not unhappy." Mason squatted next to him and hugged him with one arm. "I'm just... a bit anxious... and... something to tell you that I know you'll feel... well... strongly about... " her tone shifted from insecure worry to a softer, almost maternal tone. "Please don't be sad? It'll be okay... even good in the long run... I know it will be."
"Yes, of course... I am more concerned than sorrowful at the moment." Nicholas smiled a little bit, slightly relieved by both her actions and her words.
"Okay, that's good." Mason took his hand in hers and her voice dropped to a near whisper. As she spoke, Nick laced his fingers between hers, listening with a calm he didn't feel. With total intensity he focused his entire being on her words. "I talked to Miss Semingworth...and I'm going to not be... uh... taking a break from ... it is ok with her because.... I.. have to because... well because I'm pregnant.... and... it's yours... and.... I want to have it..." She paused for a moment, then said - once again seeming attempt to reassure both herself and him, "I love you."
Nick's mind latched onto the words with a sudden, gut-wrenching terror. His eyes widened a second before his face went completely blank, internalizing his fear.... we have to run now. yes. run... run before it is too late... before the punishment starts. I won't watch the same thing happen to Mason he did to Constance... not again... it nearly drove me insane... he closed his eyes, organizing his thoughts beyond the terror - he got a mental picture of things they could do - places to hide. A supply of blood... difficult to attain in this day... but hardly impossible, with the right leverage...
Mason's voice was almost drowned out by his thoughts, but it continued... "... will be okay... I know... well that Constance couldnt.. but... that is not a general thing... there's ... it'll work. seriously. ........ Nick? are you listening... ... Talk to me?" He couldn't hear her over the din. She was still talking. "I know it's bad withdrawal symptoms but I can handle it... I know it... and if I can't well... I could have an abortion... but I dont want to... "
Nick's face stayed blank for long moments before her words finally started to seep through and he came back to life... a few switches at a time... like a marionette jerking into sudden motion as the puppetmaster remembers he's supposed to be working the strings. "Yes, Mason... I am listening."
"Talk to me. I know you're freaking out, I know you." Mason's tone was demanding in her fear. "The mice did it, if a mouse can do it I can do it."
Nick gave her a rather helpless look, unable or unwilling to share his drowning fear. "I do not know what to say, Mason... I am sorry... I did not... I've been so careful - oh but this is such a surprise." He gazed at her with great concern. "We should leave soon. Very.... soon."
"Leave?" Mason shook her head, confused.
Nicholas licked his lips, looking down and away... searching for the words... the words... to make her understand... to make her see how important it was to escape before it was too late. He began to tremble slightly. "But we must.... I don't want to see you hurt."
She took a deep breath and let it out slowly, trying to stay her fear. Determination rose in its place, steadying her, strengthening her will. "It will hurt, but I can do it. It is my own choice to do it ... can't you see that?" Mason's chin jutted forward. "I want this. I will do it." Her voice lowered again to a near whisper. "Nick... I thought I'd given up my chance to have a child... forever.. but.. this is my last chance."
Nick ran his fingers through his hair in despairing agitation - glancing back into Mason's eyes. "I am pleased you wish to keep the child, Mason... this means more to me than I am adequate to express... but we must leave."
"Why do you keep saying leave... leave what?"
"Here... these premesises... as quickly as possible, if Ms. Semingsworth has already been alerted to your pregnancy. I shall not stand by and allow you to suffer for her pleasure. I shall not - not again..."
Mason looked sad. "You just don't understand her do you... she will not be pleased by any suffering. She isnt like that, and I will not leave her. Not even.... not even for you... I am sorry." She felt tears well up and fall onto her cheeks, and she just let them fall...
Nick's shoulders slumped in defeat, as he realized he had failed. Failed once more, as he had with Constance - she refused to leave him as well... until it was too late... Nicholas was likewise drawn into the charming jaws of his perversion. "Then I shall stay as well. I could no more abandon you than pluck out my own heart. I love you, Mason."
Mason was continuing almost on top of his words, crying as she spoke. "Any suffering will not be for anyone's pleasure.. it will be for my baby... our baby.... if you can't see that... can't you see that? can't you?" She nearly fell, wrapping her arms around him, as she heard through her own protestations, his clear declaration of love. "I love you too... please... please understand... "
And Nick continued through her words as well. "I will do my best to provide for you... stand by you, shelter and support you - whatever your position. For you. For us." He began to smile softly, cradling Mason in his arms. "For the family. I understand. Shhhh... I love you - I'm not leaving. I am... trying... to understand the other."
Mason nodded, wiping away tears. "Nick... I know it's hard to understand, for you... I'll try to explain... anything I can." She felt Oso nosing against her, and smiled at his attempt to help in the way he understood. "I think, well.. I hope... that the ... cold turkey, so to speak... was harder on Constance than it'd be on me... because.. she'd been on it alot longer... the physical painful effects should be less.. though the cravings probably wont be... all theory... we'll see... though--"
Nick wouldn't have intentionally interrupted... he had to get this out though... and he could tell she was only filling space with her words trying to calm them both. "The only thing which matters to me is you... and Constance, and now, our child, Mason. The where and whyfors are of little consequence to me - only those for which I have affection matter." A look of wonder passed over his face and he repeated the phrase - "our child" softly to himself.
Mason nodded... smiling a tiny smile... glad to see at least part of his reaction was good. She noticed, making her smile a bit more, that she felt a lot more confident about her plan when she was trying to reassure Nick than when she was thinking of it on her own in the dark.
Nick frowned a bit in thought, then looked into her eyes. "You are certain you are with child?"
"Well... blood tests show positive.. I did three just to be sure... different ones... one was inconclusive and the other two were positive... and I havent had a period since last November... well... that should have been a hint... but ... anyway I'm pretty sure."
He smiled a bit, some of the color returning to his face, whispering again... "our child". He paused to listen to Mason again.
"It should be due around the middle of this November... based on my research and the usual... well, gestation period."
Nick added tentatively, "It will be quite taxing... refraining from nourishment until then." Wiping an uncertain look off his face, he smiled at her brightly, pushing his fears aside. If she is sure... he will be sure with her.
"Uh huh... I'll need help... but I can do it, I have a reason, an important reason." Mason grinned a little... reflecting the brightness of Nick's smile. "I gotta psych myself up."
Nick picked up the two trailing leashes in front of him and rose, offering Mason his hand for assistance. Taking the proffered hand, she stood, giving his hand a squeeze before taking the other two dogs' leashes.
"Thank you... especially thank you for being you, Nick."
"We are a family, Mason. Myself... Constance... and you - a union of souls, if you will. You are as much a part of me as my fingers, just as I hope I am as much a part of you as... well, as our child. Constance feels the same, in her own way - she cares for you quite deeply. There is little need for thanks."
Mason took a deep breath. "You are right... still I feel awfully grateful to belong to such." She thought... nice not to be alone... even if it can be a lot of a rollercoaster sometimes... "Do you happen to have any suggestions for what to say when I tell Constance... I don't want to throw her too badly."
"Perhaps offer her the title of Aunt or Godmother? That might lessen the pain for her. Be gentle, Mason - above and beyond our beliefs in Ms. Semingworh, it will be difficult for her in other ways. She doesn't dare attempt carrying a child to term - it would destroy her."
"I know... I ... hate to think it would hurt her... ok... I hope that she would feel... it is hers too... even if not by blood.. but.. part of her family."
"She will, given time, as you are. Part of the family, that being." He took a deep breath, looking towards the front of the building. "Shall we walk, Mason?"
They walked together quietly, the fresh air helping to clear their minds.