Dumb Animals

Another night, another drink, another lesson. Mason had spent nearly an hour listening to Lyness's soothing voice explaining the soul of the animal nature to her, watching Lyness and Brutis communicate, staring into her dog's eyes seeing his love and loyalty but hearing no words. She reached her apartment, parked the car, and walked up the stairs, Brutis following at her heels. The walk helped her burn off some of the excess energy and more importantly, the frustration from her lack of success for yet another night. She hoped it started to work soon, before her temper frayed unduly.

Identifying herself to the security, she retreated to her room with Brutis, wanting solitude for a bit longer, from human company. She thought of Lucille, how pleased she'd been at Mason's latest work on the homeless shelter and other projects, a warm glow suffusing her at the thought. Lucille had confided that she thought her financial transactions were beginning to show promise of the payoff she'd been working toward for nearly three quarters now. Sometime in the second quarter of 2000, if things kept to their current trajectories, the payoff would be forthcoming. Mason would be expected to account for more tax shelters at that time, and she thought her current plans were well suited for that eventuality.

She thought with some frustration of the many messages she'd left for the psychologists. Should ask Lucille to pull a few strings maybe? In her next update on the Constance situation she'd be sure to... Mason found herself staring into Brutis's eyes again, as the dog pushed against her, seeming to realize something was wrong. She spoke to him softly. "I know you can understand me, Brutis," she said, "I just wish I could understand you... it's so hard... I don't know why it isn't working. All my research seems to imply it should... but maybe it just needs a few more lessons? I can hope, anyway." She scratched behind his ears, not breaking eye contact.

"I'm just so happy... aren't I? I ought to be... I have Nick... and Constance... and you... and I'm doing well for Miss Semingworth ... and she ... " Mason swallowed, and went on, " seems to care for me... at least ... but I don't think Nick understands how I feel about her... and Constance ... well she understands, but ... she seems to ... disapprove.... " Mason clenched a fist, but consciously relaxed it and petted Brutis's neck, "... I don't think they can accept the truth about Miss Semingworth... her kindness... her true caring for us ... not just me but for them too... and even for you, Brutis, she is always concerned she will harm you with her presence, that's why she won't even meet you, it's only because she cares so very much. So... shouldn't I be happy? Won't everything be okay... better than okay... now that I'm not alone anymore? I have the most wonderful job... the most wonderful family.... and pet... and.... home... and........ what is missing?" She finally broke eye contact as tears started to flow. She still didn't know what was wrong... or... wouldn't let herself see....